Lost and Found

I have spent A LOT of time and energy trying to look like the good Christian mom and the good Christian wife. I have read and tried to discern scripture. I made an effort to get the good Christian lesson out of it. I have committed much scripture to memory. I have made a lot of effort to figure out what God might be showing me in what I read. I have tried very hard to see His answers to my prayers. I would pray about things and then try to figure out what God would want Me to Do. All along I was missing the point. I was like the pharisees!

You see, I thought I had been saved as a young girl. I have prayed and claimed my whole life that I was a child of God. Having said that, I also wondered "what if I wasn't" a lot over the years. I always chocked this up to the need to do something God was guiding me to do. It was! I missed the point again and again.

Until, finally on Sunday July 11, 2010, I listened to the whole sermon, I stood up to sing the invitational hymn and as we began to sing, I thought to myself, "I don't think I am saved" "I will talk to Chris about this on the way home" then I thought " what if we don't make it home" I knew then that I could not wait another moment. I was so heavy in my heart, I could do nothing but respond. I knew then that I could not wait another moment. I pushed Chris out into the isle and told him to come down to the altar with me. I knelt down and told him " babe, I don't think I am saved" I had never said that out loud before. He began to pray and I began to cry. I prayed for God to forgive me and I accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour.

I spent a long time thinking, ' I got saved when I was little, the details are little fuzzy, but I did it" I have been pricked in my heart repeatedly.... I have thought with ever sermon about those who come to Jesus and he says "I know you not"; what if he says that to me:( And still I never would admit that I might be lost. I mean I had always claimed to be saved.

Well, I am now and I must say, what a relief it is not to need to try to look like a child of God. I feel no pressure to show everyone what a good Christian mom, wife, homemake, etc... that I am. I never realized that all that effort I was putting into it all, was me trying to be godly without GOD! I know it now and I praise the LORD for His great gift! and this peace!

Now that I really do belong to HIM, no doubts now, I look forward to serving HIM!

To Be a Virtuous Woman

I have read and re-read Proverbs 31 so many times. What a wife! I decided early in my marriage that I wanted to be this "superwoman" that I read about so many times. I mean she cooks, she cleans, she makes clothes from scratch. She buys land, she sells crafts. She speaks sweetly and with purpose. Her husband is recognized well because of her. She is revered by her children. I mean WOW!! who doesn't want this life, right??

Well, I always stopped short. I always just looked at the woman and what "she" was doing. I never really paid too much attention to the last few verses. Proverbs 31: 30 Favour is deceitful,and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall bepraised.

I mean really, how could I have missed the point so badly. It is not this woman who is SO GREAT! It is God, and who she is because of her love for the Lord. I didn't always see the spirituality in this lady. I just saw her as someone to behave like. And truly to be just like this "virtuous woman" is virtually impossible. It is, however, very possible to be the woman a nd wife God intends that I be. I must put God first in my life and he will direct all my steps. He will show me how to love my husband. He will guide me in the raising of my children. He will even direct the organizing of my day and daily duties. When I am walking closely with the Lord, life is not always easy, and it doesn't always make sense. I can rest assured, though, that it is all coming together the best possible way for my good.

The word virtuous when define through Strong's means strength, might, efficiency, ability.

I don't want to be virtuous in my own way, I want to be virtuous in the Lord. If my strength does not come from HIM it will not stand against anything.

So, I will look to the Lord and strive to be the woman that He would have me to be.

Am I a "HELP MEET"

Recently I began to study what it is be a godly wife. I came upon the first word God used to describe the first wife. "Help Meet"! How simple is that. What does it really mean? I have always taken it to mean a wife is her husbands helper. Someone who assists him in life, for life. I have learned over the years that the role of the wife has variances from family to family, but also maintains some very basics standards.

To begin understanding my role as not only Christian wife, but as the wife of a God called preacher, I have defined the word.

Wife, according to Strong's concordance, means; married female. According to Webster's 1828 dictionary; the lawful consort of a man; a woman who is united to man in the lawful bonds of wedlock. Of course, we all know those definitions of wife. What are God's intentions for wives. In Genesis, Adam was created and lived on the earth. God saw that it was not good for him to be alone and created a help meet for him. I looked up the definition of help meet as this is the first words used to describe the wife. According to Strong's Concordance, help meet means; help, succour(help or assistance, especially in time of difficulty).

The same Hebrew word for help is used 21 times in scripture. Twice in Genesis in reference to Adam's wife. 11 times in Psalms referring to the security we find in Almighty God. And several more. It is interesting to me that the same word used to describe "wife" is used repeatedly to express an attribute of God. So, what is a wife to a husband? Much more than we seem to see in today's society. Not a roommate! Not someone to share life in parallel w/her husband, but someone to assist him in all of life, to protect him when needed. Someone he can rely on to the point of maintaining a joy.

This is the only the beginning of very important study. I look forward to the growth it will bring to my marriage.